Socially Awkward
August Blog
By Casandra Orsburn
I am weird. There, I said it. I feel awkward in social settings. I say dumb things,
especially when I’m nervous. I go beet red in the face when I’ve done or said something to
embarrass myself or draw attention to something I was hoping no one would notice. I have
embraced this idea about myself as just a quirky fact. In fact, I bought a cute pink t-shirt that
said ‘Introverted But Willing To Talk About Jesus’. I mean, how adorable is that?!
I have always felt like I was not like all of my friends or even my family. Sometimes it
was in a good way and sometimes it just left me feeling alone and misunderstood. My response
to that was to isolate myself. I could spend hours alone and it wouldn’t bother me. I would avoid
large social gatherings or at least leave the party early. As a child and into my teen years I
found myself trying to mirror my classmates and always feeling like an imposter. As an adult,
you have more freedom to keep to yourself. It was easy. Having a family means your time is
focused on them and so I didn’t have time for friends. I would see posts on social media of mom
friends and play dates but I never could find my circle, my tribe, or even my person. Through the
years we would have couples that became friends but my husband was always the one driving
the relationship (he is way more of the social butterfly than I am). What was wrong with me?
Now, if you have always had tons of friends and love large social gatherings and feel as
though people actually revive your spirit, then this post probably will not resonate with you at all.
But even as I struggled with the idea that I was different and somehow not capable of having
meaningful relationships outside of my immediate family, I knew I wasn’t alone. As I was driving
into town the other day, I was thinking about all of the people who feel like they are different,
that somehow they just don’t fit in. Society has us all accepting the labels of socially awkward
and/or introverted. There are a host of other terms that fly around, all letting us know that we
can identify with not fitting in.
But is that our identity? Has God ever labeled anyone as a misfit? Now we are not of this
world, yes. But we are of the body of Christ. That means that you do have a place and are a
perfect fit for the puzzle. I think the enemy has done a fabulous job, not to give him too much
credit, of isolating us and keeping us from connecting with one another. If we believe that we
somehow do not fit in, that we are different, then we will never embrace others or invite them to
do life with us. When that happens, you feel as though you have less value than someone social
and comfortable with connecting to other people. When you don’t feel as though you fit in you
begin to wonder why. Why don’t I feel like anyone understands me? Why don’t I connect with
other people? Why do I feel so different?
Can I be honest? Good, because the devil is a liar. You need to know that. He has us
looking at Instagram posts and Facebook videos and all of these snapshots of people’s lives
that are filtered and cropped and edited. When we see them we think that our lives are so much
messier and we don’t want to let others in to see that. But we all know that those images are not
the full picture. It’s just a scene of the story. Usually the very best scenes. When we fail to let
others see the messy side of our lives, we aren’t being authentic. And authenticity is what we
need more of.
Can I encourage you this week to speak some affirmations over yourself? You are a
child of God. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You have been created on purpose with
purpose. Yes, you may be different, but your difference is exactly what God created you to be.
He is going to use that for His glory if you will place it in His hand.
I recently saw a post that said that flowers and sunsets look nothing alike but are both
beautiful. Stop comparing yourself with others. The hand doesn’t look at the foot and think it’s
useless because it doesn’t do what the foot is doing. It has its own job and is wonderful in its
own way. The eye doesn’t look at the nose and think it isn’t any good because it can’t smell.
You get the idea.
The enemy wants to get us thinking that we don’t fit in because we aren’t the same as
other people. He wants us to feel that we have to hide and keep our crazy to ourselves. Well
God didn’t design us that way. We are created for community. We are created to share each
other's burdens. The nose can’t do what the eye can do but when they work together, you can
see what you’re cooking with! That is how God created us- His family. The next time you feel
the need to label yourself as socially awkward, remember that we are all a little weird, a little
unique, and that’s exactly who you were created to be. God has a purpose for your life that only
you can fulfill and if you look at scripture, God always created us for one another. Your purpose
is tied to another’s. Let’s do life together.